Pursue the Beauty!
reflections on the intermix of beauty, grace, and sufferingArchive for "Journey" series
Orthodox Mom
Both “Orthodox” and “mom” describe me, as they do countless millions of other women around the world. Born neither mother nor Orthodox, I became both by the grace of God. I’ll always be a mom; I’ll always be Orthodox. To separate the two is impossible. My son rests his head on my shoulder during Liturgy just as I rest my spirit on the prayers during playtime with him.
My heart found its home in the Church, even as my son found his home in my heart. Read the rest of this entry »
Thanks from Natalie
- Originally published at the YLCF website on November 18, 2008
“Don’t waste your life trying to look good.
Spend your life making God look good.” – John Piper
The above is one of many quotations and sweet words sent to me in letters from YLCF readers. Some made me smile; some made me cry. I’ve pondered your quotes, songs, and poetry, even copying pieces into my paper journal.
I want to give each and every one of you YLCF sisters a heartfelt thank you for your kind, encouraging letters and notes over the past two months. Even more, I am humbled and lifted up by your prayers. Thank you so, so much.
Gretchen passed the comments, emails, and letters on to me, and I’ve been blessed to see the response to what I shared in my posts. I feel an affection for you all, knowing that in Christ we are true sisters and have both a privilege and a responsibility to hold each other up during the storms of life. Praise God, I have been richly blessed with the most loving and supportive friends and family imaginable. Perhaps there will be a day in the future when I will return to a more active role on YLCF. Only God knows what the future holds. All I can do is hold His hand and stretch my trusting “muscles” as we carve out new paths.
I wanted to share with you a beautiful work of art, and part of its accompanying letter from one of our readers, named Jaime Marie. Below is her letter and above is her photography. May it embolden your heart as it did mine.
After reading your post, I began to completely lose faith in marriage and humanity. How could something like this happen? I am so glad that Jesus is a God that hears our cries and weeps along with us. I do believe that He wept and is weeping for you Natalie…
The photograph is of a girl, who had been hurt beyond imagination. Jesus has picked her up cleansed her and healed her, and clothed her as his precious and beloved bride. She cannot dance for him yet. Yet. But she has her head lifted to the heavens, and her arms lifted in praise to him. – Jaime Marie
Photo copyright Jamie Marie Photography
The Real Me
- Originally published July 6, 2006
Long-time readers probably could guess that I greatly appreciate music with lyrics that are honest. Songs addressing the real-life struggles can become treasured companions for many years. This song by Natalie Grant, much like her song Held expresses reality without pretention. And I love it for that.
I first heard The Real Me while driving to the hospital very early Friday morning. I would like to think that such is not a coincidence. Several hours of blood tests awaited…and I was so tired that I knew heading to work afterward would be a challenge. This song helped.
Sometime I think it might be beneficial to share more of what is going on in my life right now…I will be open to opportunities to do so. For now, here is The Real Me.
The Real Me
Foolish heart looks like we’re here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don’t let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I’m empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I’m loosening my grasp
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I’m tired of the song and dance
Living a Charade, always on parade
What a mess I’ve made of my existence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I’m loosening my grasp
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You’re turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I’m loosening my grasp
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
And you love me just as I am
Wonderful, Beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
Wounded Healer – Part Two
- Originally published September 2, 2008
My turbulent nightmare began to still some time before I allowed even a hint of pain or uncertainty to show in public. But even then I needed long, quiet months to allow the wounds to begin to heal. Much time passed before I felt it to be a suitable time to share in this venue.
Some readers may recall my not-quite-planned 60 day Bible read-through this past winter. I may not have planned the timing and the speed of that journey through Scripture, but there is no doubt that Someone else knew exactly what I would need. In 31 Days of Praise: Enjoying God Anew, Ruth Myers –who lost her first husband to cancer–writes:
I found immense comfort as I expressed to the Lord my grief at losing my loved one, and then let Him speak words of love to my heart. It seemed that God used sorrow and loneliness and perplexities to stretch out spaces in my heart for deeper joy than I’d known before–especially the joy of loving and praising Him.
God spoke words of love to my heart many times through my reading. Often the passages directly addressed the bizarre, heart-breaking, and frightening circumstances in which I found myself. One especially precious chapter was Isaiah 54. I witnessed these verses play out as beautiful truth in my life. The Lord’s gentle care never showed itself so evident as in this darkness. Read the rest of this entry »
