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Why My Courtship Failed

I spent my teen years sure I’d have a first-kiss-at-the-wedding, fairy-tale courtship and happily-ever-after marriage with beautiful children. After all, if I am “committed to courtship,” believe that “true love waits,” and say “marriage is ’til death do us part’,” what else is needed? My beliefs will direct my future. At 23, I married. At 24, my husband divorced me. Life spiraled into a maze of brokenness, a gritty reality many friends and acquaintances found uncomfortable. I fell. I got up again. Broken heart, broken life, broken dreams. My ideals failed me. The courtship formula did not protect me from devastation. Saving my purity for my husband and being betrayed by him triggered feelings of loss and disillusionment. I felt cheated, like someone who paints a masterpiece only to give it to a friend who shreds it. If a break-up...

One Way to Announce Your Divorce

Spring 2015: I published the below posts in 2008 about six months after being divorced. While vague, this writing was the most I could manage as a 24-year-old whose whole world just imploded. I’m including them here unedited. Everything I wrote was true–I just didn’t have the strength to put words to the hell I was living internally. That took years to emerge. All photography on this post copyright 2015 to Jamie Marie Photography. Thank you to Jamie for the privilege of using your beautiful images on my website for many years. Post #1 The Dutch priest Henri Nouwen spoke of being “wounded healers” for His kingdom. When I first heard that simple phrase, something inside me drew back in reverent fear and awe. An awesome calling, to be sure, albeit far more elevated than I ever desired to climb. Last winter my King brought me to a crossroads. It was a diverging of path...

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