I’ve been pondering over femininity for some days and wanted your input on my definition below. What am I leaving out or what is unclear? Thanks for your help.
A feminine woman lives out the responsibility and freedom God gave to her. She is who she is because of the Spirit that indwells her. She does everything from a well of peace and joy which mystifies the world. This is femininity: a character and life which stem from an inner life lived in the Center.
As I ask for quotes, I decided to also share a bit from the chapter on femininity that I’m writing (totally new for this edition). Enjoy…
God created woman distinct from and equal to man. She is feminine and beautiful. She complements man with grace, courage, and insight. She is a true woman—not like the celebrities or models, but like a delicate flower, strong and virtuous. Let’s explore three responsibilities all women have in their relationships with men—whether single or married. The calls are to embrace femininity, support masculinity, and pursue beauty…
A feminine woman lives out the responsibility and freedom God gave to her. Some of its many facets include how we conduct ourselves (confidence, assertiveness, setting boundaries), our appearance (beautiful, modest, stylish), our manners and etiquette (courtesy, politeness, grace), how we interact with men (supportive, protected, responsive), and what we value and pursue (truth, goodness, beauty). This is no all-encompassing list but it is a summary which I want to leave as one step in the quest to the High Places… (Quest for the High Places, Expanded Edition, chapter on Femininity)
I love that you emphasized the role of the Spirit in femininity. It’s so easy to get legalistic in our definitions of what it means to be feminine — do this, don’t do that, wear this, don’t wear that . . .
A couple questions I have about the definition:
1) The definition seems to imply that it would be impossible for an unbelieving woman to be feminine. Do you think this is true?
2) If femininity is simply living out the Spirit’s work in our lives, why does it look different from masculinity? In other words, since Christian men and Christian women are both indwelt by the same Holy Spirit, why does the outworking of the Spirit look different? I think you touch on that briefly in saying that a woman lives out the responsibility God gave her. But the definition leaves me a little puzzled.
3) Does femininity flow out of who we are, as God created us, or from what God has told us to do? Is femininity a matter of identity, or obedience?
Overall, the wording is inspiring, but a little puzzling.
Thanks for sharing bits of your book with us.
Helen,
Wow! Thank you very much for commenting and giving me some things to think about. It’s helped me revise my definition which I am grateful for. I am going to answer your questions in a post probably tomorrow.