- Originally published June 2, 2006
GirlTalk blog posted on chivalrous manhood which is no longer available, that I can find. Carolyn Mahaney listed ways her son will strive to show honor to ladies including:
- Open her doors
- Stand when she enters the room
- Pull out her chair
- Give up your seat for her
- Carry heavy objects for her
- Retrieve dropped items for her
Such (seemingly) insignificant acts like opening doors and walking street-side are not just courteous gestures of a gentleman recognizing a lady. These things are a reflection of the God-ordained relationship between men and women. How do you respond when a man tries to do one of the above to/for you? Do you tolerate it, blushing and embarrassed? Do you tell him “No, it’s fine. I can do it myself”? Or do you accept the gesture gracefully and thank him (perhaps even call him “sir”)?
The issue here is not if we are physically capable of lifting something or opening our own door (though when we cannot, it is even more important that some men take the initiative to be gentleman!). It is not about whether we feel deserving or if the man offering is always a perfect gentleman–this is about accepting the respect of gentleman and enjoying our place as ladies. Let men open doors for you. Not only allow them, but praise them when they show you honor.
I remember a time recounted in Quest for the High Places when I was rollerblading. Somehow I tripped and crashed, scraping my leg. There was a young man with me who was apologizing and berating himself for letting me fall.
“It’s fine! It’s not your fault!” I kept assuring him. Finally I asked, “Why do you even care that I fell? I’ve been banged up lots worse than this with my brothers and such.” His reply silenced me.
“Because,” he said as he looked me straight in the eye, “you are a lady.”
Gretchen’s father and older brother also provide a great example of chivalry. After a few reprimands for hopping out of the car before one of them could open my door, I learned to wait. It didn’t matter if there were three doors to open–Sunday morning Mr. Glaser would go to all sides to let out the women in front of the church. I didn’t open doors. I didn’t carry anything heavy, not even my own bags. I barely even drove! The day we were decorating for the wedding I wanted to run back to the Glasers to pick up more reception items and a gentleman was sent along to drive me and carry all the heavy boxes.
For any men who might read this, please do not grow weary in being chivalrous. You have my appreciation and respect. (And if any of you have some tips or thoughts on the subject you want to share with our readers, please contact me!)
Don’t we all feel cherished and melt inside when a gentleman gives us flowers or helps us with our coat? Who doesn’t enjoy a door being opened or a heavy bag being carried, whether from a brother, friend, or stranger? Seek to be worthy of the honor. Enjoy it! You’d think we were girls or something.
Thanks for this! I love having a guy open the door for me, etc
, but should we, as girls, also have that servant heart and be looking out to do this for them too? I would never wait for a guy to open a door for me, I’d open it, and then hold it for him. Maybe this is because I live in a big city (London, England), and doing little things like this really make people’s day, because it rarely happens now. I don’t know, I suppose I’m looking for a guy who just looks for ways to help someone out, regardless of their sex. But then again, I’ve never met a ‘chivalrous’ man, so I’m really just speculating.
Sorry this is so rambling…